Tips on Dating a Younger Man

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During her time at SU she served as Editor-in-Chief of What the Health magazine on her college campus and was a member of the Syracuse chapter of ED2010. And sometimes, they do; sometimes someone who is older really is more emotionally intelligent. Open up a younger man's medicine cabinet, and you will see shaving gear, hair gel, a toothbrush, perhaps a squeezed-out tube of pimple cream, and, if he's something of a sophisticate, moisturizer.

Being the older woman means, among other things, that you are independent, smart, and have your shit together. Later, when people are more mature, it is easier to date when you have perspective.

Relationship Advice for Women: Dating a Younger Man

When Lynn Snowden Picket was graduating from seventh grade, her husband was in diapers. But that was then, and this life with a gorgeous, healthy, appreciative, sexually fired-up man is now. I look at him, stunned that he could forget such a big part of 1973. People were siphoning fuel from their neighbors' cars in the dead of night! Then it hits me: He was born in 1971. I was born in 1958. We've been together for seven years now, and I'm so used to considering Bronson my peer that I often forget about our 13½-year age difference. This wasn't always the case. In the beginning, if I wasn't thinking, Is he too young for me? Am I too old for him? You'd really dig it. She's older than he is, you know. Or could it be caused by something as shallow and immediate as a woman's not wanting anyone to think her date is her younger brother or, God help us, her son? Maybe women feel that because girls have a head start on maturity back in the seventh grade, our emotional and spiritual equals must forever be at least five years older than we are. Whatever part of the conventional wisdom they buy into, American women find it easy to summarily reject younger men. They could be denying themselves the most wonderful relationship of their lives. I was married once before, to a man five years my senior. After 12 increasingly dreary years capped by a wrenching divorce, I couldn't imagine why women in my situation childless divorcées complained about the prospect of reentering single life. Wasn't that the good news? Parties, rock concerts, nightclubs—I dated the way I should have when I was younger: for fun, without an eye toward marriage. Next: During that time, when I was in my late 30s, I made an important sociological discovery: Men over 40 are profoundly different from those under 35, and it's not just their hairlines. As much as we're loath to admit it, we base most of our expectations about a relationship on the one we observed, for better or worse, growing up at home. A man who came of age in the 1960s, before the women's movement exploded, when his more likely than not stay-at-home mom did the cooking and cleaning, might have to work hard at accepting the fact that his life won't be just like his dad's. A man who came of age in the 1970s or '80s doesn't think twice about being married to a woman with her own career, or splitting the household chores with her. He probably grew up having to pitch in and help with dinner if only to defrost it ; he knows his way around a washing machine, and maybe even had to change a diaper or two. When it comes to gender roles and the division of labor, you're better off with a man whose mother has already fought the big battles for you. The fact that a younger man's very busy mom probably didn't have time to whip up many culinary delights for the family can also work to your advantage. Anything you serve, however clumsily, is going to be greeted with unbelievable enthusiasm. Home cooking was something Bronson always hoped to experience, not The Way Things Used to Be. He'd walk a mile for my chocolate Kahlúa cheesecake, and he immediately bragged about my spaghetti sauce to his friends, who were envious of anything that didn't arrive by delivery boy. Staying over at a younger man's place may mean a breakfast of cold pizza and Mountain Dew, but at least you won't be offered Mylanta and Metamucil with your OJ. The reason for this is that he's Scarily Healthy. Open up a younger man's medicine cabinet, and you will see shaving gear, hair gel, a toothbrush, perhaps a squeezed-out tube of pimple cream, and, if he's something of a sophisticate, moisturizer. Of course, he probably won't have any first-aid supplies such as aspirin or Band-Aids, but before you curse his lack of preparedness, consider what else you won't see in his medicine cabinet: Di-Gel, minoxidil, Preparation H, Grecian Formula, Sominex, or Doan's pills for back pain. An empty medicine cabinet can actually be a beautiful thing. An older man, you may point out, has learned much from life and benefited from years of accumulated experience. What he may also have accumulated is an ex-wife or two , and perhaps a child or two , which means you get to be Daddy's New Friend. Or perhaps he never married but has in his past a nightmare of a long-term girlfriend who cheated on him with his former best friend. While years of relationships may teach a man to be a better partner, there's also the danger that he's learned to view women as gold-digging, untrustworthy sluts, parasitic leeches, or nagging harpies. Next: Younger men carry far less of this bitter emotional baggage. Maybe he's carrying a grudge about one woman who done him wrong, but it's probably his mother. They see women as wonderful, exotic creatures with many treasures to offer. They're not so far past the years when they pined to hold a real, live, naked woman that they take for granted what a terrific thrill and holy privilege it really is. When I was in my 20s, my first husband and I went to three weddings in ten years. The vast majority of couples we knew simply lived together. The serially cohabiting older man sees dodging the bullet of matrimony as a badge of honor. His condemnation of marriage as a bourgeois convention makes him more of a tired, sad cliché than the ones he's using to describe matrimony. Since I've been with Bronson, we've averaged three weddings a year. As creepy as the done-it-all, Warren Beatty type of older man is the one who hasn't done anything. This is the guy who's missed so much in his years on the planet that being with him makes you feel embalmed. A younger man finds you fun rather than wild, interesting rather than threatening. He offers to reorganize your computer's hard drive while you go out and get the wine. Sure, there are older men who can pull this off, but a 30-year-old guy was fooling around on a home computer and programming the VCR and watching MTV while he was still in grade school. The fact that you have three holes in one earlobe isn't even worth a comment from a younger man, whose last girlfriend may have had a pierced tongue. Next: Dating someone younger makes all the other men you know really, really nervous. Interestingly, the older men who exclusively date younger women are the most panicked and defensive. Because even if they're not interested in dating you, they won't relish the thought that you aren't interested in them for reasons that seem to spell out over-the-hill, no-longer-desirable, past-his-prime. What's even worse for them to contemplate is the evidence that you're probably getting more action in the firm young flesh department than they are. Men don't like the idea that women are thinking of sexy bodies you know, the way they do , since it means that everything they hope is going to attract us—their salary, their Porsche—might turn out to be not so impressive after all. There are some women who can't get past the fact that a younger man probably doesn't earn enough to take them to fancy restaurants on a regular basis. To that I say, you're missing the point. These same women are invariably the ones complaining about unimaginative guys for whom romance begins and ends with going out to dinner yet again. Where, they cry, are the afternoons spent eating bread and fruit and drinking a bottle of wine at the beach? Where's the touching, hand-presented little bouquet of daisies, rather than the predictable dozen roses delivered by the florist? If you've ever said you'd rather have fun than dinner, dating a younger man offers you the chance to go have it. And if you're in a corner office while he's still in a cubicle, you'll have the opportunity to put your feminist beliefs into action by picking up the tab the next time you crave a lovely dinner out. But meanwhile, hike together through the woods. Younger men can do this without complaining about their knees or their bad back. Have him teach you how to surf. Spend all day making out at the beach. Stay in bed and order in Chinese. Thankfully, these are still extremely low-cost activities. A bonus: A younger man won't bore you with what an older guy might imagine is scintillating chat about his investments, his IRA funds, and his latest tax shelter. And finally, yes, there's the sex. Some women—and nearly every older man—scoff at the idea that when it comes to sex, youth beats experience. First of all, the techniques necessary to please a woman are things that can be taught, and, more important, learned and mastered fairly quickly if one has a willing and interested partner—and a younger man is the very definition of willing and interested. And consider this: If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, and try again. In the same evening, if you like. Next: And there's one area in which younger men have probably had more experience than their seniors: using condoms. Younger men came of age in the era of AIDS, and many have never or rarely had sex without a condom. And, worse, they may not really know how to use a condom—it's not quite as idiot-proof as the package instructions lead one to believe. A younger man may have learned condom basics in health class; he and his buddies may trade information about which brands are best. Ask yourself: This evening, would I rather trade memories of the Watergate hearings or discuss the merits of self-heating lubricants? Perhaps the most stunning thing I've learned is that, eventually, any age difference ceases to matter. What I ultimately found in Bronson is someone who shares not only my interests but my values, none of which, ironically enough, have anything to do with age: friendship, fidelity, faith, a love of family, shared beliefs and priorities. And for that, I say youth is not always wasted on the young.

It's just too much hassle and stress to date someone at a different stage in their life at this point. Seeking new experiences and stepping out of our comfort zones is how we can truly develop as humans. The serially cohabiting older man sees dodging the bullet of matrimony as a badge of honor. This is probably why tend to skew their own ages of higher while. Is a 3 year age difference ok if the lady is the older one. DATING WITH LESS PRESSURE IS JUST A RELIEF. Dating a younger guy has taken this to the next level.